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(via thoughtsorgy)
I’m such a mess i wanna cry. I just wish she was more available like me so i could talk to her about how im feeling. I know it sounds selfish of me and i hate it. but shes really the only one i can turn to. I jump to far…..way to far ahead of myself and i get angry when i cant do it in the time frame i want to complete it in. Im sorry if you have o idea what im talking about…..im just very angry at myself for feeling the way i do. i cant stand how selfish im being….so this is it….this is what i turn to cuz i have no one elts. and then tomorrow ill be alone and shes the only one ill be thinking about. I guess this is what love does to u. u miss them so much when their not around but then when you finally have the chance to get within reach u cant tell them whats on ur mind cuz you know that the stuff your thinking will push them away. i want to be an open book with her and i want her to know all of my thoughts. i guess im just one big mess that no one can fix but myself. just admitting that makes me feel alil bit better.i know im not perfect and i NEVER will be…but i try so hard to be for her. i try so hard it hurts me and my way of thinking. How can i stop being so selfish, overbearing, and clingy? Should i not care as much? thats not possible. then how can i stop from being all of those things? Wow i didnt think writing all this out would help me his much….i feel alot better. but that doesnt end my problem. im not like all those things in reality…just in my head and its driving me CRAZY. i dont mean the kind of crazy like u normally mean it but the real type of crazy. if someone could please tell me how to love somebody without being overbearing and clingy…..that would really help me out alot…if not then thats ok ill just deal with it on my own.
Your friends aren’t always going to like what you like. You’re going to be passionate about different things, what makes you so excited might not muster a half-hearted response from another. But that is no reason to give up loving what you love. If everyone loved the same things, the world would be very mundane indeed. Stay passionate, and stay true to yourself.
I know that none of you care about what i want in life or whats going to
become of me. I could die within the next min and none of you would care
and thats ok but that doesnt mean i dont care about any of you. I care
about you and your wants in life and where your going to end up. I care
about alot of things in life like my kids i have yet to grant life to and
my wife who i have yet to marry. The way i see it is that if no one cared
where would love stand? Love would be nothing. I have enough love for this
whole world of ppl, giving love is one of the only things im good at. I try
and send out as many pokes and nuges as i can to let you know that im here.
I know deep in my heart that im not the only one whos like this, i can
promise you that. Please dont think bad of me for careing about ppl i dont
even know think to yourself theres one more person out there that cares
about you.
The crowd surrounds us But only you I see. Could it be that the gaze you cast May possibly be for me? You creep closer My heart drumming to your step. Weaving in and out of the crowd But I move forward and intercept. You know not of what you do to me But I feel sheltered in your arms I hide my feelings so you cant see So I stay clear of harm You reach out caressing The strings of my heart How do I tell you? Where do I start? If only I could speak Words that will rap you Keeping you here with me. I gaze deep in your eyes As you glance back I hold out my hand To see how you react. Your finger tips touch my palm My hope sits at its peak I pull you close though my knees grow weak. Your cheek brushes mine Grasping my hands Our fingers entwine. Closeting my eyes shut I see us slowly moving To our hearts beat We dance. Your skin shimmering in the light But my soul is hiding Clearly out of fright. How should I tell you? Where should I start? What I hold deep And true in my heart. I keep you close And dear to my soul But I cant hide any longer To tell you is my goal I love you I know its hard to believe But believe it its true. Theres just some things in life That you cant let go And that to me would be you. You’re the one I’ve always dreamed of Someone truly amazing Someone I can give all of my love There’s nothing you have to say I’ll always be here I’ll always feel this way. You put your finger to my lips Slowing me down to a hush But those words I speak Give me such a rush. We rock back and forth To the beating of our hearts Our fingers still entwine I feel a new beginning A brand new start. We drift far from the crowd out of sight but we keep dancing to our hearts clear through the night
When my parents had sex in that drity lundry pile, they didnt know what kind of monster they were giving birth to. but its not my falt its his. hes raised me pain and hate alone. hitting….screaming….crying was part of my daily life. no wounder why im such a mess. my poor mother tangled in his traps. going through all of that hate and pain something grows inside me. a dark creature not even the meds can stop from growing. Anger. The Wolf as i call it. 18 years of anger traped inside me….i cant hold it much longer. but wait I have a side of me that isnt so ugly. im really careing and giving and easy to get along with. alot of ppl know me and like me telling me im a great person. to someone inparticular im beautiful inside and out. i hope im stong enough to protect her from The Wolf eatting her alive
